The crowds are gone, the season, over. What is there for next season to draw the dollars through the turnstiles? A-Rod? Hardly. Maybe a big offseason signing? Doubtful, besides the day of the huge money free agent is coming to an abrupt close. Youth and the farm system are what a team has always really needed, now more than ever. But the dolts traded all their talent off the farm for the big strapping knuckleheads who produced about as much as a lurching rabid squirrel produces goodwill among homeowners.
So what now? When the "House that Ruth Built" was torn down, they sold it off piece by piece to anyone with a few bucks and perhaps a few steroid shots. They even took dirt from the infield and sold little bags of it to those who would wear it around their necks like some sort of Bronx Mojo. No there is nothing really left. Even bobbleheads have run the gambit, they've retired so many numbers and erected so many plaques that monument park is threatening to swallow up the infield and proceed into the cheap seats and overpriced hot dog stands.
So.....what now? Steiner Sports, the demented purveyor of all things dealing with Yankee memorabilia have already shredded Jeter's dirty socks and sold them off. Maybe they secretly bought up a shitload of Robinson Cano Seattle bobbleheads to place on 2nd base on opening day 2015 and then sell them off?
No, they have something much more insidious planned. In conjunction with a secret Chinese laboratory for hair restoration, they are applying the slimy salve to Derek Jeter's nether regions in hopes of reaping a plentiful crop of long luxurious pubic hair to then be harvested and woven into watch chains. You laugh.....
**Note - As of 2019, Robinson Canoe has joined the dubious ranks of Mets 2nd basemen. No bobblehead has been issued......yet
A funny and righteous rant that skewers Steiner and the Yankees.
ReplyDeleteIsn't that Michael Kay's watch chain?